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Previously on
"Black Dynamite"...
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00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,037
Black Dynamite, I'm
Donald, your accountant,
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00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,276
and as your accountant, I have
an extremely urgent accounting
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00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,460
matter I must discuss with...
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00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,921
I don't care if
you're Merv Griffin,
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00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,922
creator and host of
"The Merv Griffin Show."
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00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,301
You need to make an appointment,
like everybody else, Jack.
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00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,391
Damn it!
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00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,560
Hyah! [Grunts]
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Ohh! Suey!
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[whack, whack] [whack ]
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00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,564
DONALD: Black Dynamite?
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Huh?
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[shrieks]
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You can't ignore
this any longer.
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I tried to make an
appointment like you said, but...
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00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,884
My Secretary bitch
is out with the shits.
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Now, don't be
interrupting my kung fu!
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Suey!
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[ Groans ]
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[gunshots]
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Man, can't this wait?
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No, it can't, Black Dynamite.
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They are shooting.
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Fine. Get in.
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00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,333
[tires squeal]
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[engine revs]
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DONALD: What I've
been trying to tell you is,
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you haven't filed income
taxes for eight years.
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You owe the |.R.S. $60,000,
and now they're going to fucking
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kill you!
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Is that what this
shit's all about?
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[gunshots] [glass breaks]
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These motherfuckers
can't be bargained with!
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They can't be reasoned with.
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00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,609
They don't feel pity
or remorse or fear.
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And they absolutely will not
stop, ever, until you are dead
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or broke or in jail... or both!
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Incoming!!
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[tires screech ]
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Donald, my accountant!
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Black Dynamite, I'm
not gonna make it.
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[coughs]
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Please, promise me...
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Anything, man!
Anything in the world.
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You'll make sure this form is
postmarked by midnight on the
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15th, or you... may...
be subject to ...penalties.
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Ahh. I'm dead.
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I'm sorry, Donald
the accountant.
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I should have
listened to you sooner.
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Looks like you're gonna
need a new accountant,
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Black Dynamite.
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I've got until the 15th,
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you money-hungry
bureaucratic sons of bitches!
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Scram, I say! Scram!
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I' He's Dynamite J”.
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I' So Dynamite J”
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I' Ooohhh, ooohhh I'
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a“ Ooohhh a“.
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A“ Ahhhh A“.
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I' He's Dynamite J”.
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I' Dy-no, dy-no J”
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I' Ooohhh, ooohhh I'
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a " Oooohhhh I"
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I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
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This week...
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[sirens wailing in distance]
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ALL: Surprise!
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BULLHORN: Right
before your eyes.
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Black Dynamite, we
all heard about your tax
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troubles with the |.R.S., so all
the whores and the orphans in
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this here whorephanage
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got together to raise
you some scratch.
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These girls have
already sucked every dick
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in a 10-mile radius.
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And me and Cream Corn
planned this badass party last night
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to raise funds and awareness
for broke Black Dynamite!
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We sold a few
thousand of these...
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2 for $5.
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Even these little nappy-headed
orphans pitched in.
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[orphans chanting
"Save Black Dynamite!" ]
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All right, shut the
fuck up when grown
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folks is strugglin'.
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I'd take this money
if I didn't need it,
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but now that I do need it,
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there ain't no way
I'm gonna take it.
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[rip]
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Now get back out there on that
block and get that money I donTneed.
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Now I'm just thinkin' out loud,
so this may sound berserk,
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but maybe B.D. can
make some ends meet
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by puttin' in some
mercenary work.
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HONEY BEE: Now,
that's a greatidea, Bullhorn.
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CREAM CORN: That is a good idea.
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I think it's a terrible idea.
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CREAM CORN: Yeah,
it is kind of terrible.
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The problem with taking
somebody's money to
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do a job is that they always
expect something in return.
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Well, I guess we'll just have to
come up with another plan, then.
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Not necessarily,
because sometimes,
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a terrible idea is
the best idea you got.
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And if there's one
thing I've learned,
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you always go with
the best idea you got.
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[airplane tires screech ]
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Thank you for coming,
Black Dynamite.
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I'm a motion-picture producer.
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That means that I
produce motion pictures.
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What do you know
about Richard Pryor?
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You mean the comedy man?
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Yes, the comedian.
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You say "tomato,".
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Black Dynamite
says "toe-mah-toe."
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We've already had massive
success filming Richard Pryor
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live in concert, and
we got Richard Pryor
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here and now without a hiccup.
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But for some reason, no one
has been able to get Richard Pryor
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00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,920
live on the Sunset Strip,
and that's where you come in,
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Black Dynamite. Take this.
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What is this?
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His inspiration.
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RICHARD PRYOR: Oh shit! Why
y'all didn't tell me the plane landed?
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I was on the
toilet taking a shit.
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You know when you're sitting
on a plane, taking a shit and
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your ass get sucked
down the toilet?
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I didn't think my ass was
ever gonna come back, Jack.
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I said, "Take the shit but
leave me, motherfucker."
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Ha ha! Brilliant, Richie baby!
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But save it for the show.
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What's happenin', Jack?
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My main man.
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Baddest motherfucker I ever met.
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Cocaine.
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What's the matter,
Black Dynamite?
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You've never seen a
black entertainer get high?
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No.
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It's just that nobody's
ever left me hangin' before.
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RICHARD PRYOR: Oh shit!
Is that all the cocaine we got'?
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It's gonna be a
long night, Jack.
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I snort through motherfucker.
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This little briefcase
ain't doin' shit.
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I fuck potential mothers,
soon-to-be mothers,
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already mothers.
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I'm a motherfucker. I never got
no pussy when I was your age.
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But |ivin' up in here?
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Y'all should be
gettin' all of it.
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Hoe come in the
house, I'm 7 years old.
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I'm punchin' the
shit out the pussy
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'cause my dick was too small.
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[ laughter]
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Uppercuttin' the pussy.
I'm knockin' pussy out daily.
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Say, baby, you
remind me of my mama.
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Aw. Because I'm
kind and nurturing?
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No, bitch!
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'Cause you got big titties
and you sells good pussy!
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[ laughter]
155
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,292
Man, Richard
Pryor, you are on fire!
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And you got enough
meat on your nose
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to make a ham sandwich, boy!
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Rhyming all the damn time.
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I can't tell if it's a trick, a
tick, a talent, or tourrette's.
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You're the funniest
man alive ordead.
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Well, thank you, Miss.
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[ laughter]
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Whores and orphans
under one roof.
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Whose idea was this, anyway?
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00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,398
Mine.
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Man, did you actually think
about this shit before you
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put the children and the pussy
within fuckin' distance of each other?
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Hey, little kids.
169
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,001
I'm Black Dynamite.
170
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,499
I know you all
ain't got no parents,
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so how 'bout I replace them
with a lifetime supply of pussy.
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That is not what I silently
said to myself inside my head!
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[grunts]
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BULLHORN: You
may not find him funny,
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but you about to fuck
up all your money.
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Look here, Mr. Comedy Man.
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00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,891
Now, I don't get you
or your comedy jokes
178
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,218
or comedy in general,
179
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,165
but what I am gonna get
is you to the Sunset Strip
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00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,554
so I can pay my damn taxes.
181
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Can you dig it? [Doorbell rings]
182
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As a matter of fact, here
goes a package from the |.R.S.
183
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:43,979
right now.
184
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|.R.S.?! No!
185
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,949
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
186
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Looks like I need to get
the fuck up out of here.
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Let's go get something to eat
before Black Dynamite kills us
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with his back taxes.
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It's funny 'cause it's true.
190
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,940
Man, I tell you... the
|.R.S. ain't no joke, Jack.
191
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,502
Them motherfuckers will run right
up in your ass to get they money.
192
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,071
You ever notice when you look
at your check, it says "F.E.C.A.,
193
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,756
F.|.C.A. fucks you
out your money."
194
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,337
And my accountant gonna tell me,
195
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,140
"Good news, Richard.
You're in the black."
196
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,263
And I'm like, "Sucka,
you say I got $2 million.
197
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,721
Motherfucker I want
to see it... In cash!
198
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:23,273
Drive it to me in the
Brinks truck right now!"
199
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,879
You mean to tell me
Hollywood really pays
200
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,110
you all that money for
standing around and talkin' shit.
201
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,312
That's right.
202
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,147
But havin' people
laugh at you all the time
203
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,152
ain't all it's cracked up to be.
204
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,735
Sometimes, I just
want my dick hugged.
205
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,864
[ laughs]
206
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,414
Can I get you something
to drink, Mr. Pryor?
207
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,366
Not unless you got
some milk in them titties.
208
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,621
Big as them titties is,
209
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,577
shouldn't be a starving
kid nowhere in Africa.
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00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,787
Nah, baby.
211
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,542
I stopped drinking
two minutes ago.
212
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,873
[ laughs]
213
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,050
[slurring ] That
is some bullshit!
214
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,470
Don't nobody believe
you, Richard Pryor.
215
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,548
I know you don't believe me,
motherfucker 'cause you fucked up.
216
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,054
Motherfucker say...
217
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,978
"I'm drunk, and I'm the
ugliest motherfucker up in here.
218
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,603
I'm so ugly, the tears roll
down the back of my neck.
219
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,935
When I cry, they don't
want to be on my face."
220
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,423
Okay, that's enough
drinkin' and jivin',
221
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,778
you drunk jive turkeys!
222
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,697
Oh, what you gonna do to me?
223
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:17,244
Black Dynamite, I'm gonna
kick your dick, nuts, and ass to
224
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,662
the motherfuckin' bone.
225
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,830
Do you hear me?
226
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,784
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
227
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,084
Man, did you see that?
228
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,707
Them suckas got messed up, Jack,
229
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,789
Fucking around with
me and my boy. Shit.
230
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,820
Man, you got to show me
how to do some of that stuff,
231
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,754
Black Dynamite!
232
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,927
We could be like
Blackman and Robin.
233
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,802
Richard Pryor, give me that
gun before you hurt somebody.
234
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,303
[gunshots]
235
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,477
[tire hisses]
236
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,474
RICHARD PRYOR: Motherfucker.
237
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,226
[camera shutter clicks]
238
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,767
We bad. We bad.
239
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,694
That's right
motherfucker... we bad.
240
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,236
This ain't Gene
Wilder motherfucker,
241
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:56,191
this is Black Dynamite, and
we will whup your ass, Jack.
242
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,287
[ laughter]
243
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,034
Do you know what we're in for?
244
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,965
Puttin' a foot in a motherfucker's
ass and makin' it come out his mouth!
245
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,230
You ever seen that before?
246
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,962
[ laughter continues]
247
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,292
You think Richard Pryor's
foot in your ass is a joke, boy?!
248
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,716
[ laughter continues]
249
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,009
You think I'm funny?!
250
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,427
Well, I'm not!
251
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,505
[ laughter continues]
252
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,969
I'm tired of pouring my heart out
to motherfuckers and all you do
253
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,269
islaugh.
254
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,266
Stop laughing at me.
255
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,189
I'm serious.
256
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,064
[ laughter continues, distorts]
257
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:44,077
[grunts]
258
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,657
[metal clangs]
259
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,868
Shut the fuck up when
groan men's is or yin'.
260
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,623
[cricket chirping ]
261
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,082
[cricket laughing ]
262
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,087
[laughing stops]
263
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,339
Richard Rryor?
264
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,115
This better not be one
of your comedy jokes,
265
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,597
because Black Dynamite
don't ever hold no grown man
266
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,220
in his arms like a baby when
he's or yin' and weepin'...
267
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,393
Especially a comedy man.
268
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,471
Man fuck the comedy
man and his mama!
269
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,398
I don't want to make
these motherfuckers laugh.
270
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,522
I got some real
shit to say, man.
271
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,899
I know how to cut
through the bullshit
272
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,731
but don't nobody
care when /say it.
273
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,487
It's always the same.
274
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,617
Did you hear what he said?
275
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,198
He said, "It's always the same."
276
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,568
He said, "It's always the same"!
277
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,955
[laughing]
278
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,282
See what I mean?
279
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,789
When you talk, people listen.
280
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,665
They take your ass serious.
281
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,246
You ain't really
got shit to say,
282
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,129
but they listen, and
that's what I want.
283
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,803
I want somebody to listen
so I can teach them somethin'.
284
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,300
[cell door opens]
285
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,677
OFFICER: Pryor, Richard!
286
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,099
Dynamite, Black!
287
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,223
You made bail!
288
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,930
We bad. We bad.
289
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,856
That's right,
motherfucker, we bad.
290
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,059
[ laughter] I just
peed on myself!
291
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,341
BLACK DYNAMITE: What's this?
292
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,323
'Bout 200 kilos' worth of money.
293
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,970
I thought all that
Brinks truck talk was
294
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,947
just one of your little
funnies, Richard Pryor.
295
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,824
Man, I told your
ass... I don't joke.
296
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,656
How 'bout I pay your tax bill,
297
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,062
you look the other way, and
we both get to walk away with a
298
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,702
cool little story to tell?
299
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,127
I can't do that, Richard Pryor.
300
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,251
Black Dynamite don't
ever break his words.
301
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,299
Black Dynamite's words and
Black Dynamite's balls is all.
302
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,297
Black Dynamite has in this life.
303
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,881
That, plus my bitches, my
car, an exquisite wardrobe,
304
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,433
and a bunch of more,
other shit, but my point is,
305
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,476
Black Dynamite said he
would get Richard Pryor
306
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,019
live on the Sunset Strip,
307
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,143
and that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
308
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,348
A'ight, man. I can dig it.
309
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,059
Keep your word and your balls.
310
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,562
Oh shit, is that the |.R.S.?!
311
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,656
I thought I told you Internal
Revenue motherfuckers
312
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,029
that Black Dynamite was
gonna get your money!
313
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,450
I'm workin' on it!
314
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,073
[engine turns over]
315
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,620
[tires squeal]
316
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,074
What about my
taxes, Richard Pryor?!
317
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,159
- You better get you
some scratch-offs, sucka!
318
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,664
[ Horn blows]
319
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,962
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”
320
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,298
[sirens wail in distance]
321
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,503
Man, crazy Rich done busted
loose with all of that money,
322
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,338
and he can be anywhere by now.
323
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,173
And that shit ain't funny.
324
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,258
Tomorrow's the 15th, and
the |.R.S.has threatened
325
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,014
to put a lien on
this whorephanage.
326
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,219
What we gon' do?!
327
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,554
Look here, Honey Bee.
328
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,489
Ain't nobody leanin' on
Black Dynamite's whores
329
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,436
or his orphans. Can you dig it?
330
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,672
CREAM CORN: Which reminds me,
I promised to drop my mama's 1099s
331
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,481
off at the post office.
332
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,653
Hey, Black Dynamite,
333
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,856
they didn't repossess
your ride yet, did they?
334
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,150
I'll just walk.
335
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,889
Maybe I can get the girls
to stop suckin' and fuckin'
336
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,673
for an hour, and they
can find Richard Pryor.
337
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,697
Nah, let them keep suckin'
and fuckin' Honey Bee.
338
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,784
I've been to every hot spot,
cathouse, nightclub, drug spot,
339
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:34,959
and gambling den in town.
340
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:35,956
And...?
341
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,128
[sighs]
342
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,442
He's been in every
last one of them.
343
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,831
Wait, Black Dynamite!
344
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,135
There's someone I know that
can help us find Richard Pryor
345
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,677
and get him to the show.
346
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,883
[doorbell rings]
347
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,204
Richard's not here.
What do you want?
348
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,389
How did you know...
349
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,748
I know you've got a
Richard Pryor problem,
350
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,809
'cause no one shows
up to Paul M0oney's pad
351
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,561
unannounced unless they've
got a Richard Pryor problem.
352
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,546
I've been |ivin' in that
brother's light-skinned shadow
353
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,810
all of my life.
354
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,111
Can you help us find him?
355
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,530
Is a pig's pussy pork?
356
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,407
Where did you last see him?
357
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,615
In a Brinks truck filled
with 2 million big ones.
358
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,196
That's what I was afraid of.
359
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,394
You were trying to get him to
the Sunset Strip, weren't you?
360
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,829
[ Switch clicks ]
361
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,250
[tribal music plays]
362
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,232
You see, Richard thinks that
if he goes to the Sunset Strip,
363
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:21,465
then all he'll ever be is one of the
greatest comedians that ever lived.
364
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,653
Richard wants more than that.
365
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,008
He wants to be like Malcolm X.
366
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,095
[ laughter]
367
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,341
See? That's the problem.
368
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,014
Well, besides being
a comedy man that
369
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,432
nobody will ever take
serious, what's stopping him?
370
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,102
You mean, besides the
cocaine, the quaaludes, valium,
371
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,375
white women, mother issues,
father issues, racism, vodka,
372
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,605
pork pussy and fame'?
373
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,978
That don't cover it?
374
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,854
Richard's got that
shit and that shinola.
375
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,529
You can't have
shinola without the shit.
376
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,105
Because the truth
lives in the shit.
377
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,736
The shit is where
you find wisdom.
378
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,943
The shit is what reminds
you that your shit stinks.
379
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,530
It keeps your feet
on the ground.
380
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,285
Paul Mooney, you
might sound deep,
381
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,959
but you look
jungle fuckin' loony.
382
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,380
[tribal music plays]
383
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,846
[music stops]
384
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,925
Man, what the hell are we doing
out here with Paul Mooney, anyway?
385
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,226
[ Sniffs ]
386
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,644
Wait, wait!
387
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,971
I smell something cooking.
388
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:18,897
[ Sniffs ]
389
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,894
Cocaine... [ sniffs ]
390
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,567
And a man's flesh.
391
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:23,518
It's him!
392
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,648
Aaah!
393
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,070
There goes Richard Pryor!
394
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,524
He's naked and
literally on fire!
395
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,453
[ Panting ] Huh?
396
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,325
He went that way!
397
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,687
It's time to break out
the heavy weapons.
398
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,621
What's that?
399
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,998
All of Richard's
greatest hits...
400
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,330
Cocaine, vodka tonic,
and white-woman saliva.
401
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,568
He's responded well
to these in the past
402
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,048
when all else has failed.
403
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,464
Oh shit Aaaaaaah!
404
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,215
[thud] Damn!
405
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,173
Why... are... y0u...
doing... this ...to ...me?!
406
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,267
False alarm.
407
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,763
He's not Richard Pryor.
408
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,533
You think Richard
Pryor's the only basehead
409
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,596
to ever catch on fire, man?
410
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,180
Then why did you run, basehead?
411
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,606
I was on fire, man!
412
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,651
I was about to put myself out,
and then you motherfuckers
413
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,354
started chasin' me.
414
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,234
The hell was I supposed to do?
415
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,441
[bird trills]
416
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,493
Oh shit, that's my accountant.
417
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,599
Did you guys know that taxes
were due by midnight tonight?
418
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,954
I got to fly.
419
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,122
[Coos]
420
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,416
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
421
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,545
BLACK DYNAMITE: Donald, you
were more than just an accountant.
422
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,091
You were my accountant.
423
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,591
But now, you're just a dead
accountant lying in this grave.
424
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,639
If I could do it all over again,
425
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,636
I would've made
time to talk to you.
426
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:40,436
I would've filed quarterly and kept my
business and personal receipts separate.
427
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,184
I cannot bring you back to life,
428
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,313
but I can come back and engrave
"avenged" on your tombstone.
429
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,236
|.R.S. AGENT: 30 minutes
to showtime, Black Dynamite.
430
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,608
You got your tickets.
431
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,861
[ Singsong ] I've got mine.
432
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,443
If you don't have our
money, you'll be sleeping
433
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,620
with the fishes, right
here, beside Donald...
434
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:58,993
In the dirt.
435
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,727
Black Dynamite ain't
never slept with a fish or
436
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,458
laid in a grave
in his whole life,
437
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,502
and he damn sure
ain't gonna start now!
438
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,670
[gun cocks]
439
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,418
Goon Shoot, Black Dynamite.
440
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:12,047
Kill me, and two more
agents will pop up in my place.
441
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,418
And if you kill
those two agents,
442
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,089
four more will
take over for them.
443
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,119
Kill those four, and you'll
find yourself dealing with eight.
444
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,620
Waste those eight,
now you've got 16 I .R .S.
445
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,555
agents following
you wherever you go.
446
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,891
Go ahead and kill
those 16... Cream Corn?
447
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,143
Honey bee'? Bullhorn?
448
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,940
The |.R.S. honky is right.
449
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,314
Ain't but two things
certain in this world...
450
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,424
We're gonna be taxed by
the |.R.S. and we're gonna be
451
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,688
killed by the |.R.S.
452
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,218
We might as well go
back to the whorephanage,
453
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,449
board up the windows,
give everybody assault rifles,
454
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,026
and wait for the final shootout.
455
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,863
4 and 64 equals 128,
and do you know what
456
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,618
128 times 2 is?
457
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,450
256!
458
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:48,129
All... up... in... y0ur...
ass, Black Dynamite!
459
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,251
[brakes squeal]
460
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,800
[laughing]
461
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:56,721
Wait.
462
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,514
I hear something.
463
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,308
RICHARD PRYOR: That
was some serious shit.
464
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,936
It sounds like...
shit being talked.
465
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,792
RICHARD PRYOR: [
laughter] It was a hershey bar.
466
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,103
Fuckin' around and
ate the motherfucker
467
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,047
smelled like I had a shit
sandwich for breakfast.
468
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,280
(He)', baby, Can I get a swig?
469
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,136
You think you got problems?
470
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,275
I had a Brinks truck with
471
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,988
$2 million 48 hours ago,
and I bet you were sitting
472
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,198
in the same shit
you're sitting in now.
473
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,329
[ laughter]
474
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,170
Man, you right, Richard, man.
475
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,920
I am sittin' in shit but
you make us feel like we
476
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,002
a/rflsittin' in shit no
matter how much shit we're
477
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,337
sittin' in.
478
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,842
That shit is crazy.
479
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,933
Look at him.
480
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,286
All he's got is
his dirty drawers,
481
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,972
his half-skunked jug of
wine, and you, Richard Pryor.
482
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,395
Well, motherfucker
that reminds me...
483
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,144
A funny thing happened
while I was gone.
484
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,942
I gambled away $2 million...
485
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,692
Plus 4 more in |.O.U.S...
To some kung fu gangsters
486
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,113
from Chinatown.
487
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,531
And they want to kick my ass.
488
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,528
[car door slams]
489
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,530
[Chinese accent] Richard Pryor!
490
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,955
You in big trouble with
little Chinatown gang.
491
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,452
Aaaaaah!
492
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,500
Oh shit!
493
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,329
Richard Pryor, I'm gonna get
you live on The Sunset Strip,
494
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,630
and then I'm
gonna kill you dead.
495
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:15,209
Motherfucker. Run, boy!
496
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,795
[funk music plays]
497
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,868
Oh, my god! It's Richard Pryor!
498
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,892
What?! [all screaming]
499
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,100
Richard, cut it out!
500
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,224
RICHARD PRYOR: One
thing I know how to do is run!
501
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,688
[all shouting]
502
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,064
Suey!
503
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,694
[grunts]
504
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:49,789
[grunts]
505
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:50,744
Aaaaaaaah!
506
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,876
Suey! Suey! Daaaah!
507
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,582
Suey!
508
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,844
RICHARD PRYOR:
Hey, little fat troll!
509
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,387
Oh! There you are!
510
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,184
I heard you wanted Richard
Pryor live on the Sunset Strip.
511
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,806
Well, here I is.
512
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:08,897
You think this is funny'?
513
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,306
RICHARD PRYOR:
Actually, I do, motherfucker.
514
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,310
I took care of that
gambling debt for you,
515
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,766
Richard Pryor.
516
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,964
Those Kung Fu gangsters from
Chinatown won't be bothering
517
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,274
you no more.
518
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,092
I'm not paying you to
deal with kung fu gangsters
519
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,197
from Chinatown.
520
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,970
If you ever want to
work in Hollywood again,
521
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,577
Black Dynamite, I
advise you to do your job!
522
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,780
You're my mercenary... all mine!
523
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,865
Now, you wait a minute,
Mr. Movie Producer.
524
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,200
I got Richard here,
just like I said I would.
525
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,398
Whether he gets up onstage
is up to him and his cocaine.
526
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,004
So I suggest you
give him a break,
527
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,583
'cause he's been dealin'
with a lot of heavy on his mind.
528
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,917
Can you dig?
529
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,467
Look, Richard!
530
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,261
We got your inspiration!
531
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,930
Come and get it!
532
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,007
My main man!
533
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,217
BLACK DYNAMITE: No!
534
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,393
Cocaine is not your
main man, Richard Pryor!
535
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,517
Fine! So be it.
536
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,770
You think you're the first
incredibly talented person of
537
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,352
color to take show business by
storm, only to be driven insane
538
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,734
by the pressures of a system
that's designed to suck them dry
539
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,283
and leave them dead
in a heap of cocaine?!
540
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,780
Well, you won't be the last!
541
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,076
He's right!
542
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,449
Man, it's hopeless, man.
543
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,540
|'m-a jump!
544
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,492
Don't jump, man!
545
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,914
[ Electricity buzzes ]
546
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,369
Oh shit. Fuck what I
just said, Richard Pryor!
547
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,373
Jump! Jump!!
548
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,704
What?
549
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:19,837
Oh shit, why didn't somebody
tell me I was on fire?!
550
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,043
Suey!
551
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,755
I' Dynamite! Dynamite! J”.
552
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,056
Very dramatic. Very touching.
553
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,725
If you don't get
on that stage now,
554
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:31,269
I swear to god I will
personally see to it that you
555
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:34,564
and everything you ever
worked for comes crashing down!
556
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,312
[aHga$P]
557
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,861
Aaaaaaah!
558
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,358
Burn, Hollywood! Burn!
559
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,610
Ha ha! Get it?
560
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,282
Burn! Ha ha!
561
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,779
Hy-sterical.
562
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,328
Smashed honky
is not hy-sterical.
563
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,825
But it is funny.
564
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,701
[ Both laugh ]
565
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,408
Look, Richard Pryor, at first,
566
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,539
I didn't get you or
your comedy jokes.
567
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,870
Even though the whole
world is laughin' at you,
568
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,423
just know that Black
Dynamite takes you seriously.
569
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,624
Here.
570
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,255
You earned this, Black Dynamite.
571
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,552
That's why it's called
mercenary work.
572
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,221
|.R.S. AGENT: Thank
you, Black Dynamite.
573
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,639
That takes care of your federal,
574
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,871
but the city and state will be
by this afternoon to get theirs,
575
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,432
and they're not as
nice as us! [ Laughs]
576
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,104
Now, thatfis hy-sterical.
577
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,103
- Motherfucker.
- Thanks, y'all.
578
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,606
Maybe I should be
grateful for my blessin's.
579
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,733
Maybe big muscles
aren't everything.
580
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,315
Well, now you're just
talkin' crazy, Richard Pryor.
581
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,201
[cheers and applause]
582
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,620
I have a feeling that little
comedy man's gonna inspire a
583
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,745
whole generation of
nobodies to be somebodies.
584
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:35,916
And when that happens...
585
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:37,994
My main man! Cocaine!
586
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,215
[theme music plays]